Dear Parents,
Warm wishes to you and your family as we embrace the winter season! Recently, during conversations with several students, I uncovered a common trend: many of our children are enrolled in multiple after-school tutoring programs. When I asked middle school students about their extracurricular commitments—what they’re studying and how often—they most often shared that they’re juggling 2-3 different programs, with sessions 1-2 times a week. While roughly half adapt to this schedule, the other half expressed feelings of stress, exhaustion, and even unhappiness.
As a mother myself, I once walked in your shoes. I wanted to provide my daughter with every opportunity I “thought” would boost her academic success—only to realize things didn’t unfold as I’d planned. Her passions clashed with my well-meaning plans: I assumed she’d love the piano, but she gravitated toward the violin, trumpet, French horn, and electric guitar. I prioritized math, yet her heart lay in language, reading, chemistry, and biology—all tied to the world around her, to what resonated with her experiences and curiosity.
This journey taught me a valuable lesson—one I carry as both a parent and an educator: our children are their own masters. We must honor their unique experiences, thoughts, and aspirations, rather than imposing our own perceptions of “what’s important.” It prompts me to ask you:
Do you know what your child wants? What can they do? What do they aspire to be? What lights them up? Where are their strengths, and where might they need gentle support? What are their dreams—and what speaks to their heart?
IB education, rooted in holistic growth and 21st-century skills (critical thinking, creativity, collaboration, global citizenship), thrives when extracurriculars align with a child’s interests, abilities, and energy. Here’s how to support your child across IB phases:
PYP (Ages 3–12): Foster Curiosity & Play
PYP is all about nurturing wonder and foundational skills. Choose activities that feel like play: art, music, nature exploration, or drama. Avoid academic tutoring—this phase is for building a love of learning, not drilling content. Prioritize what makes them giggle, ask “why”, and engage freely.
MYP (Ages 11–16): Deepen Passions & Build Balance
MYP students are developing their identity and critical thinking. Encourage 1-2 activities that align with their interests (e.g., robotics, debate, community service, or a musical instrument) and complement IB’s focus on service and inquiry. Reject “checklist” tutoring—extra sessions often contradict MYP’s inquiry-based approach and drain energy. Instead, support their chosen pursuits deeply.
DP (Ages 16–19): Align with Goals & Protect Well-Being
DP’s rigorous curriculum demands focus. Extracurriculars should either fuel their passions or support their long-term goals (e.g., research projects related to their Extended Essay, CAS activities that align with their interests, or skill-building for university). Strictly avoid overloading them with tutoring—burnout undermines academic performance and well-being. Balance is non-negotiable.
A Gentle Reminder: Quality Over Quantity
We firmly oppose enrolling children in random tutoring programs out of anxiety or comparison. Such choices burden their physical and mental health, stifle their natural curiosity, and contradict the 21st-century skills we strive to cultivate. Extracurriculars should energize, not exhaust; inspire, not pressure.
Your role as a parent is to listen, guide, and empower—not dictate. When we honor our children’s voices, we help them grow into confident, resilient, and lifelong learners—exactly what IB and the world need.
Extracurricular Choice Tips
– Follow their passions—interest fuels engagement.
– Match activities to their energy and skill level.
– Prioritize depth over breadth (1-2 meaningful pursuits).
– Align with IB curriculum’s holistic and inquiry-based values.
– Skip “trendy” classes—focus on what resonates with them.
– Check in regularly to avoid burnout.
Thank you for partnering with us to nurture not just successful students, but happy, authentic individuals. If you have questions or want to reflect further, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Wishing you warm, joyful moments with your child this winter.
With gratitude,
Lily Liu
Head of XLIS
Email: lily.liu@xalis.com
November 18th, 2025
